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Crystal aka Crissy aka Cyrs b/c thats pimp

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what the fuck is goin on here on the ljness [16 Nov 2005|11:50pm]
i'm bored myspace is being gay. i miss wanting to blog. i used to like blogging what happened?
what have i been up to well
i've been chillin in marsails
gettin fucked up and dealing with drama
i hate drama
and yet i thrive on it
how fucked up is that?
spent today recording with fatal addiction
god i really effing hate that band name
at least for this band
oh well
i'm really proud of our progress tho
that makes me happy
got practice on saturday and sunday
thats it
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please dont read this [07 Oct 2005|11:10am]
[ mood | hungry ]

why is my life so fucking boring. remember when i would blog about getting drunk with dave and not getting caught or about the misery of a bitch or the APD when life was interesting and i had friends now i have no one i feel like i could fall off the face of the planet and it wouldn't really affect anyone mean accept for kaylee... god the shit pisses me off. i hate it. i feel like i'm nobody and when i look in the mirror i only see my faults. if i didnt know i meant so much to a few people i wouldnt know anyone cared at all. i hate feeling this way but i don't know how to stop. i just wish i had one person who cared enough to call and say how've you been cris? and i mean its not like this no friends shit just started happening but i guess its alot harder when you really have no one. i havent had real new friends in illinois in probably seven eight months but i had blaine but now blaine is gone and doesnt give two shits about how i am or about talkin to me. and for a while i had kaylee's friends but i found out that they hate me. i wish so bad that i could have my life back but this is the road i choose (past tense)

3 comments|post comment

[01 Oct 2005|01:50pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

10 page paper to write ten page paper to write ten page paper to write and theres only been ten studies on my subject with 20 composers thats really really shitty

1 comment|post comment

a song about nothin [28 Sep 2005|07:40pm]
she likes homestarrunner aaand
she likes death cab for cutie aaaand
she likes big breasted women
and she cant stand me

i love rain as its falling aaaand
i love homestarrunner aaand
i can stand death cab for cutie
but i cant stand her

we pretend life's what it isn't
and bitch about polititions
try to find the meaning of life
but its all soo fake
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and just when youre about to lose hope she blogs [25 Sep 2005|06:04pm]
well im 18 mutha fuckers.;.. peirced and tattooed...that cant be how you spell that...
i'll put up pics on my space at somepoint but yeah... umm sadly nothing really new in my life. college is just like highschool cept with more freetime and cigarette breaks. i seem to have stalled in that weird transitioning point between kid and adult i wish i were two years younger and 20 years wiser. i performed with jana stanfield.. if any of you happen to know who that is. it rocked my little socks off. still going out with kaylee... and i'm watching the slow death of my youth group that played such a big role in who i am now. thats really quite depressing. and i think im getting addicted to DDR. oh and i quit smoking... and then i started again so your fully updated thanks for reading ttyl mutha's.
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first day of college [24 Aug 2005|09:46am]
well im officially a college student my first day was pretty cool i didnt realize i knew so many damn people at waubonsee i pulled into the parking lot right next to someone from central that was my first encounter with another person hehe. but yeah i knew loads of people there. i knew people in two of my three classes. my english class is tight as hell i looooove my teacher he's great. i think im stuck with the stupid people tho for groups but thats okay because it means less work for me. biology sucks and math will be cool i think....i so missed montisorri style math.
the only down side to my day was that i had to take rosa home inbetween classes and she lives all the way up by chicago and i got lost and missed a toll on accident and a whole bunch of other stressful shit. Blaine left yesterday.yeah blaine was up here for a couple days. now he's gone. barely made an impact on my time he was too busy trying to get laid. but such is life. poor boy didnt get laid either. but he did piss every single person here off excluding me although he almost managed it yesterday. and all kaylees friends and kaylees friends friends hate him. which i expected and i warned them but no they didnt listen. i told them they werent going to like blaine they werent that type of people. but listen they did not. and poor blaine had to suffer for it. oh well. i tried. love yall lots byeseys
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[04 Aug 2005|10:32pm]
Your Ideal Relationship is Polyamory

You want to have your cake... and everyone else's.
Which isn't a bad thing, if everyone else gets to eat too!
You're too much of a free spirit to be tied down by a traditional relationship.
You think relationships should be open and free, with few restrictions.



thats fucked up i never used to be like that
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to someone specific [01 Aug 2005|03:09pm]
i have the pefect pic and i can do it i also have two or three sites that would be perfect for the pics. sorry i was such a "i want you to do it" before. i just figured that was the way it should work. but now i'm so excited about this pic all that shit is gone from my head.

for those of you looking at this very confused its a note to my photographer(best in the world) about the pics for my site
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WHOSE COMING WITH ME?!?!?!? [30 Jul 2005|01:00am]

 

 

 

                                                  Ten Cents Short

                                                                          July, 30 2005 at Mike and Denises
                                                                                  Farnsworth Ave., Aurora, IL 60504
                                                                                          Cost: $5 at the door

at nine pm
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well loves [27 Jul 2005|11:19pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I'm kind of a myspace whore now so ive been neglecting my lj... my life has been kinda dramitized lately and i'm shifting. but remaning still. if that makes any sense...i dont know what im feeling or anyhting so... i'm happy tho. at least a little. so yay!
talked with my aunt finally
maybe that explains the mood i'm in

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[11 Jul 2005|06:52pm]
implicit.harvard.edu

take these tests they're tests for a study on the human sub conscious
and automatic affiliations we connect to people and things

i have a slight automatic preference towards straight people
and a slight automatic preference to white people
and little to no preference towards skinny or fat people


those first two are fucked up arent they
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[11 Jul 2005|02:36pm]
you guys wanna know some pimp shit... i get to fill in for jason(my gutair teacher) on the 25th sweet shit its like 72 bucks for four hours thats fucking awesome for someone as broke as me.... thats like 18 bucks an hour. man i wish i did the shit for real. but thats sweet right. I think god heard me bitching about not doing anything. thanks man
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i'm coming out [10 Jul 2005|04:17pm]
well you guys i have something to tell you all... i've been holding it inside trying to deny it... I think... I think... I think that i'm emo...*starts sobbing* oh god now i have to tell my parents. how are they going to react? will they disown me? oh god i don't know what to do... i just realized it...


no but seriously... i think i'm emo on the inside... how much does that suck for me. i don't know any emo people well around here except kyle and hes not really emo . i didn't know they existed in illinois until like yesterday... but yeah and i used to make fun of them and shit... i was emophobic... and now i see why.
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sry baby [10 Jul 2005|12:52am]
oh man yesterday was fun... i stayed out until oh 4:30... from ten til like 1 hung out with kaylee john(cute new boy) JOSH from one of sam's parties a million years ago and katie then katie left and the rest of us watched cursed( fuckin stupid) at johns house then we took josh to his car in lasalle on the way back the convo turned very sexual and john asked kaylee if he could kiss me to which she said yes *pause* *pause* yeeah so any way we chill in kaylees car till 430 then she drops me off at my car. i pull into the hotel parking lot sleep til 6 wake up and see a trucker staring at me and go to seneca, find a place to park, and sleep dead til 8 30 wake up meet kaylee a breakfast go home sleep until 540 which throughs off my clock significantly and i now feel like its ten


oh yeah and i'm like addicted to my space now

www.myspace.com/angeldustme
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QUOTEs [08 Jul 2005|02:38pm]

and on the way back held her camera like a bible
just wishin so bad that it held some kind of
truth

 

while my mother waters plants my father loads his gun
says death will bring us back to god just like the setting sun
return to the lonesome ocean


natures a whore (random nirvana)


my parents both have their religion but sleep in different houses

i dont care if it hurts i wanna have control i wanna perfect body i wanna perfect soul i want you to notice when i'm not around


she drew her wheelchair to the edge of the shore and to her legs she smiled you won't hurt me no more then a sight she'd never seen made her jump and say look a golden-winged ship is passin my way and it really didn't have to stop it just kept on going and so castles made of sand slip into the sea eventually

i am covered in skin no one gets to come in

i wish i could take the pain away if you can make it thru the night there's a brighter day

fuck police, fuck police, fuck police brutality

and you rhapsodize about beauty my eyes glaze everything i love is ugly i mean really you'd be amazed

nothing can grow in here, suffocate

need more friends with wings all the angels i know put concreate in my vains i'd always walk home alone so i became lifeless just like my telephone theres nothing to lose when no one knows your name theres nothing to gain when the days don't seem to change...i'd have to check my mirror to see if i'm still here

well now i'm confused is this death really you


i smoke two joints before i smoke two joints and then i smoke two more

 

 

mmmm.... good quote's

wow im bored can any one tell me all of 'em... you'll get a prize

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hmm [08 Jul 2005|10:40am]
i really need to go clothes shopping... i've stopped trying to look hott and thats not cool i like looking hott and not looking like a wal-mart baby. (that look where you look like you spent two seconds deciding what to where and your shoes don't go with the rest of you and not in a cool way)(betcha didn't know that sometimes i can be really superficial) yeah i hate being a broke ass and not having any kind of wash fold put away system in my house is like wash... the end. mom where's my favorite shirt? fuck if she's gonna know and i don't know because she did it... i need to invest in my own washer and dryer.... i need to invest in my own fucking place...



signing out,
BrOkE ASs
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[07 Jul 2005|10:45pm]
i was fucked up all day... ufn shit.ighrt. hehe i cnat spll luk i'm the gay penguin... wow more shot and weed for me... no time to anylyze why i'm smoking and drinking again i'll think about it later/.
4 comments|post comment

[07 Jul 2005|10:27pm]
r
What rating is your journal?

brought to you by Quizilla
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[07 Jul 2005|10:17am]

yesterday sucked then it evened out then it sucked worse then it turned okay then good so it went like this fought with kaylee (pretty bad for us) for like an hour she clicked on me called her back clicked on me again (reminisent right?) didnt really work things out just put them on the back burner because we were tired of fighting i went to ottawa because i was going to skate the park there. my fucking car breaks down at 52 and 71 mid way between ottawa and my house so like 22 miles from my house. my parents aren't home and there is only one person i can call "fuck" i say to myself... this is after a nice man has pulled to the side of the road offering his phone well two nice men actually one in a car and one in a truck... so ring... ring.... "hello?"
"can i get a ride?"
"who is this?" (nice to know she knows my voice right?)
"crystal."
"oh...ooooooh no your car broke down"

so that was fun *shoots in head* if i didn't feel like a bum taking all her time and money before well  this sealed the deal

so we go to sams pizza (best pizza in the world) but they're not open yet we have to wait twenty minutes so we leave...
me: so are you over it? (meaning the fighting)
her: no, but i'm done fighting
(i drop the subject confused)
me: so what are we doing?
her: we are going to find a place to make out.and make out (matter of factly)
me: you are the most confusing person i have ever met.

i'm still not over that craziness... i'm never going to know when she's upset...

anyway sam's openers are late so we're just waiting out there this is after she locks her keys in her car

go to sam's spend some alone time then invite some of her friends to come eat with us.

After that we go to the lots (parking lots that every one hangs out at) stay there til nine thirty

then she takes me home...

oh yeah and i had a really elaborate , realistic dream about my dad dying.... that sucked
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look its the title line [05 Jul 2005|10:33pm]
[ mood | quixotic ]

"Kyle" [10:28 P.M.]:  im a crak head now crystal
CRISSIE3O [10:28 P.M.]:  really?
CRISSIE3O [10:28 P.M.]: 
thats intresting
"Kyle" [10:28 P.M.]: 
yeah
"Kyle" [10:29 P.M.]:  thats what josh told me
CRISSIE3O [10:29 P.M.]:  oh okay
CRISSIE3O [10:29 P.M.]: 
josh should talk
"Kyle" [10:30 P.M.]: 
yeah he said cuz i somke out of a crak pipe im a crackhead
CRISSIE3O [10:30 P.M.]:  why did you smoke out of a crack pipe?
"Kyle" [10:30 P.M.]: 
cuz thats all i have
CRISSIE3O [10:31 P.M.]:  why do you have a crak pipe
"Kyle" [10:32 P.M.]: 
cuz i found it in kyles hoodie

 

so randomly great

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